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CONTROVERSY
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STORIES FROM
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JERUSALEM
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FEB. 2002
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Dear
friends,
I
write you on the heels of Sundance and soon on my way to The Berlin Film
Festival. Here is a mini-report from all the success of Sundance.
Sundance was an extraordinary experience on so many levels. Trembling
was the talk of the festival. Audiences and press
uniformly loved the film and our screenings and Q & A's were very intense
and emotional. I think I cried every other day. And if I didn't, my parents
who came for the first few days, made up for it.
There is great interest
on the sales side and we are in negotiation with theatrical distributors
and TV broadcasters. More news to follow....
Highlights:
Hosting a Friday night Shabbat dinner with Rabbi Steve Greenberg, the
first openly gay Orthodox rabbi, for 50 people. Steve was a dynamic, inspiring
force at the festival. Many Jews (and non-Jews) approached him to say
if they had met a rabbi like him, they would have explored Judaism. We
took over a restaurant and koshered the kitchen (yes, in Park City, Utah)..
Shabbat guests included Tilda Swinton and B. Ruby Rich, "Speed" Levitch
from The Cruise, Susan Stover and her Business of Strangers team, former
yeshiva graduates, journalist Jim Fouratt, Trembling Creative Collaborator/Editor
Susan Korda, filmmaker Yvonne Welbon, and Sundance programmers: Shari
Frilot, John Cooper & Shannon Kelley. A few largely closeted members of
the Salt Lake City Jewish community were overjoyed to join us. One woman
who grew up Orthodox and is lesbian came with her girlfriend who grew
up fundamentalist Christian. We ate, sang, learned, blessed, and were
transported to a peaceful place where the frenzy of the festival was a
distant memory. Thanks to chef Todd Brownstein we dined on a lovely salmon
and wild rice dinner provided to us all by an anonymous donor who underwrote
the evening. Thank you all for such a special evening. Shabbat at Sundance-
inaugurating a tradition!
Hosting a Havdalah service with Rabbi Steve. With fire, wine, and spices
we welcomed in the new week after the Sabbath. In this beautiful architect/yoga
studio, Rabbi Steve led us in a two thousand year old ritual blessing
of human creativity. We were all transfixed. The Independent Film Channel
Online produced an e-card of the event
It seemed like we were always taken care of. Shabbat had come in. I
walked from a screening to the condo where my family and friends of the
film were awaiting a private Shabbat dinner. A 20-minute walk wound up
being a 45-minute shortcut - on a deer trail next to a highway - in the
snow, in the dark. A truck lost control and was speeding towards me. It
swerved to avoid me at the last minute. Only by the grace of G-d did I
survive to attend the Festival!
My prom date from high school came to see the film.
After a screening, a man came up and said, "I am from Pakistan. I am
Muslim. I'm straight. Give me a hug" and he didn't let go. He said. "This
film is about my life." Everytime he saw me, he'd shout, "My favorite
filmmaker."
After my last screening, Tilda Swinton emerged from the cinema. She
came over to congratulate me. She gave me a hug and started weeping. Of
course, I did too, and the two of us stood there, heaving and sobbing.
The enormity of the week overcame me. We then pulled back, looked at one
another, and began sobbing once more. Best Cry Award of the Festival to
the loveliest soul with the deepest touch
We held a Mormon-Jewish
gay dialogue. We thought maybe 20 or 25 people would come. Instead, the
room was packed. People had driven from all over Utah. Many people spoke
of their excommunication from the LDS church for "conduct unbecoming a
member." Millie Watts, the head of Family Fellowship, the Mormon PFLAG,
was a mother of a gay son and lesbian daughter. She was like a rock and
has 1500 underground Mormon families she has spoken to about their children.
In five years of making Trembling Before G-d, I could find no Orthodox
parents of gay and lesbian children who would come forward to be interviewed
and I was amazed by her courage. There was also a Mormon family with two
babies running around with bottles and toys. No one could understand why
they were there. Midway through the conversation, the husband says, "I
had a boyfriend before I got married. I became a devout Mormon and I met
my future wife. We kissed but did not have pre-martial sex. Now, five
years later, with two babies, these feelings for men are not going away
and we do not know what to do." All of us were blown away. While he spoke,
his son was pulling his pants down in the middle of the room and he was
being such a sweet father, helping his son while he talked. He and his
wife were facing the dilemma of his bisexuality with such honesty and
openess.
James later emailed us,
"The
family is central to the plan of God and his Church. As gay/lesbian
couples continue to be examples to society, it will one day have to
be recognized that they are families too, and that they do not threaten
to destroy the traditional heterosexual families as is claimed today.
As we strive to be the best people we can be, more and more people will
come to understand that we have value both to God and society too. Finally,
I said that I was willing to be public about my situation because people
need to know that it is very difficult to be gay/bi in a straight marriage.
This is still a problem that affects many families across the nation.
People need to know that we exist and that we need to be understood
and loved as well.
When the whole thing was over, I was amazed at the outpouring of love
and comments we received. We had numerous people come up to talk to
us, several with tears in their eyes. We received contact information
from several people and gave ours out in return.
It is kinda overwhelming to think about what happened to me today...
I have known for a while that I wanted to come out publicly sometime
this year, but I had never dreamed it would be in quite this way...
especially in a way that could end up getting national audience! But
even though I feel nervous about the implication of all this, I feel
good inside to know that I am becoming what I want to become, a beacon
of light to shine in the darkness of ignorance. I want to help make
this world a better place for people like us. I want to help others
see that we are not the biological errors Dr. Laura has claimed we are,
nor that God hates us as Pastor Fred Phelps has preached. I want to
help replace myths and ignorance with truth and understanding. I am
excited to live in this day and age when I actually get to help form
the foundation of a better society that future generations will benefit
from. I feel like I have direction and purpose in my life. And it feels
good."
It was a truly incredible afternoon.
Trembling Before G-d was a model of fusing commercial mass release,
venture philanthropy and community organizing. Thanks to Michael Roban
and Lynda Hansen for their excellent sales work and to mPRm - Mark Pogachefsky,
Michael Lawson, Joe Quenqua and their team for their incredible press
work. Thanks to David who came from Los Angeles and my family. Thanks
to my Sundance coalition partners - CLAL - The National Jewish Center
for Learning and Leadership and Judith Helfand, Robert West, and Jill
Sheinberg of Working Films.
Michael Roban and Lynda Hansen for their excellent sales work and to mPRm
- Mark Pogachefsky, Michael Lawson, Joe Quenqua and their team for their
incredible press work. Thanks to RABBI STEVE GREENBERG, David who came
from Los Angeles, CREATIVE COLLABORATOR AND EDITOR SUSI KORDA AND LAWYER
ROBERT SEIGEL FROM NYC, CO-PRODUCER PHILIPPA KOWARSKY WHO CAME FROM TEL
AVIV, and my family. Thanks to my Sundance coalition partners - CLAL -
The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership and Judith Helfand,
Robert West, and Jill Sheinberg of Working Films. We did it....
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