Story from Theatrical Release in NYC

On the night of our Benefit Premiere at Film Forum, I saw two Hasidic women exit the theater and walk toward 6th Avenue.  I rushed after them, eager to invite them to the unprecedented Orthodox community-wide discussion taking place the following Sunday, co-sponsored by eight Orthodox synagogues.

"How did you hear about the film?" I asked one of them. "The group," she answered.  I hesitated. “The group?….you mean the Orthodykes?" I tentatively asked.  “Yes," she replied. "Sara" later told me she is a Hasidic lesbian from Monsey, a mother, now trying to separate from her husband.  She had brought her straight Hasidic friend to the theater. “Sara” was born "Ultra Chassidish."  She knew she was attracted to women at a young age, but had never heard the words gay or lesbian. "Hey, I thought everyone had these feelings and then they get married to whoever their parents choose for them. I met a boy at age 17 and spent 3 full hours talking to him at which point I was announced engaged. We got married and my mom came to shave my hair off [a ritual for brides in her Hasidic sect]….”  

“Sara” married while still in her teens, and has slowly, over years, come to accept her gayness. "My parents refuse to talk to me, and if I go to their house they lock the door in my face. When I call the phone gets slammed down upon hearing my voice.  They do not speak to me because I have long hair (which I cover with a wig) and because I have openly lesbian friends.  I have given up trying because it is too painful to be rejected." She thanked me for making the film, and for portraying the beauty of Judaism.  “I admire your work and the dedication it took to make this project come to be.”

The next day “Sara’s” friend left me a message later thanking me as well.  Having seen the film, she now understood what a lesbian was, why “Sara” couldn’t just be with a man, and all the struggle she has been through. The following night, I was surprised to see a crowd of Hasidim outside Film Forum. "Sara’s" straight friend had brought her husband, her brothers, and a cousin from Monsey to see the film. After the screening a virtual United Nations - Hasidic, non-Hasidic, Jewish, non-Jewish, gay, lesbian, straight, Asian, and African-American - stood for two hours outside the theater talking and laughing and at the end, even taking pictures with each other!  For me, these unprecedented, spontaneous connections represent part of the unforeseen promise of Trembling Before G-d.