His coming out will play out on movie screen / Barbara Carmen
The Columbus, Ohio Dispatch, Sunday, May 5, 2002

Fran Greenberg's life could be a movie. So it will take friends by surprise that the film coming to Columbus next week is about her son, the rabbi. Fran came to America at 10, an orphan whose father died in a Nazi camp and whose mother perished struggling to hide two girls in France. a

At 18, she was a young bride. And at 19, she had a colicky baby and a husband serving in Korea. a

Her husband, Dan, believes with his big, soft heart that they were destined for each other. They built a life of joy with three sons and a little girl. a

They are a typical American family -- in more ways than friends might suspect. And that is what now worries Fran. a

Eleven years ago, her eldest, the rabbi, phoned: "I'm coming home. Set aside some time for us to talk. '' a

Dan and Fran guessed at his news. Steven Greenberg was always a different child -- brilliant and sensitive. He said his first word at 7 months, talked in sentences at 1 year and could discuss the newspaper at 3. a

His parents were Conservative Jews, but Steven wore a traditional head-covering to Bexley middle school and kept kosher. a

"He loved Hebrew school. How many kids do you know who love to go to Hebrew school?'' Fran asked as she settled down to talk about her son last week. By high school, he had become Orthodox, highly observant. a

"I said, 'Steven, this is getting worse and worse. ' He said, 'No, Mom, it's getting better and better. ' '' a

So when Steven called from New York, Mom started to guess. He had broken off an engagement, so he probably wasn't bringing a girl. She feared he was going to move to Israel -- far from her arms. "Mom, Dad,'' the Orthodox rabbi said, "I am gay. And I have to tell you, it's something I've known for a long time. '' a

And he'd fought to deny it even longer. How could he be gay and an Orthodox Jew? How could he give up his dream for children and a traditional Jewish home? How could he reconcile his same-sex nature with its prohibition in Leviticus? a

Fran and Dan also struggled for understanding, but told him, "We love you. You're our son no matter what. ''a

Privately, Fran thought, "It will go away and it will be OK. ''a

Dan was hurt. "I kept wondering, wanting to know, was it me? What did I do wrong?''a

Gradually, they have come to accept and hope others will, too.a

Steven is coming home Wednesday -- and coming out in a big way. He is featured in a documentary opening at the Drexel East Theatre. Trembling Before G-D portrays men and women struggling to reconcile traditionally conflicting identities: that of being gay or lesbian, and that of being a Hasidic or Orthodox Jew.a

The film offers balanced viewpoints, poignantly weaving in raw emotions. We meet an older man, who is gay and abandoned by his family. "I want my daddy,'' the gray-haired man weeps.a

Steven, who is in a long-term relationship and finally happy, is featured as "the world's first openly gay Orthodox rabbi. ''a

Next week, Fran and Dan will go to work in Bexley and see neighbors. They have not broadcast their son's gayness anymore than those friends have detailed their children's sex lives.a

"Everyone who has come to know Steve has seen what a wonderful and special person he is,'' Fran said. They feel blessed by the support of family and friends, but they worry that others may cast hurtful words their way -- or worse, toward their son.a

So this is what they want to say: We love Steven proudly.a

And another thing, Dan adds, "We can't be little gods.a There are 613 commandments, including stoning adulterers and sacrificing animalsa.a Nobody I know follows all 613. ''a

Dan pulls his hand over his eyes to wipe tears -- ones of happiness. "How many fathers,'' he asks, "can say their sons saved lives?''a

Suicides, he explains. Steven, as a role model, counsels others about faith and self-acceptance. Steven Greenberg's message is simple: He did not choose to be gay any more than he chose to be Jewish. But he will follow God's greater commandment: He will chose a full, loving and religious life.a